Distractions
by ShellBell822
Summary: JaSam Onshot. Two lovers are brought back together by an unexpected loss.


Distractions

Author: Michelle

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters or locations associated with General Hospital. They belong to the creators, ABC Inc., and Disney. I am merely borrowing them for my entertainment.

Summary: Two lovers are brought back together by an unexpected source.

Distraction. That was the whole purpose of the spontaneous trip to the fare in the park. A way to distract Kristina from the fear and confusion of her mother's illness. A way for her to feel safe and secure when the adults in her life were falling apart around her.

And maybe it was a distraction for her too. A couple of hours where she felt needed by someone else. Where she felt she had a purpose – a reason for being. It was something she had craved for so long. And for at least a couple of hours, Sam could forget the mess her own life was.

"Kristina! Slow down!" Sam called with a laugh as she caught up with her little sister. "Did you have a good time?" she asked as she squatted to the little girl's eye level.

Kristina nodded. "Look at the boats Sam!" she exclaimed, pointing out to the harbor.

Sam looked out to where Kristina was pointing. A small smile came to her lips as she thought about the boat she and Jason had. Although a lot of strange things had happened on that trip, Sam recalled the special times they had together.

"Do you have a boat Sam?" Kristina asked. She remembered Sam telling her she used to live on a boat. It sounded like a lot of fun.

"Well, I don't have a boat, but Jason does," Sam said as she pointed out his boat. _Why did I have to go and mention Jason? I'm supposed to be moving on. He doesn't want me._

Kristina turned when she heard footsteps and saw the object of their conversation come down the stairs.

"Jason!" Kristina exclaimed as she ran over to him, throwing her arms around his waist. "Can we go for a ride on your boat?"

Jason looked down at Kristina and then up at Sam. Looking into her eyes, Jason could almost forget she had slept with Ric . . . something he desperately wanted to get past. He _wanted_ to get past it. When Sam came to tell him the truth, he saw the shame she felt and the remorse for her actions. He was not going to punish her for something he drove her to with his constant rejections.

He brought his thoughts back to the now as Kristina pulled him over to where Sam was.

Sam smiled apologetically at him. "I'm sorry," she said to him before turning her attention to Kristina. "Kristina, I'm sure Jason's busy . . . "

"Actually, I'm not really doing anything. I can take you guys out if you want."

"Can we? Please Sam!" Kristina asked, jumping up and down.

Sam laughed. With everything that was going on and all the uncertainties still to come, it was good to see Kristina happy and excited.

"Okay. But let me check with your mommy first," she said, pulling out her cell phone.

Once Alexis had reluctantly given her okay, Jason, Sam, and Kristina prepared themselves for their ride. Before getting on the boat, Jason located a child-sized life jacket for Kristina and tightly fastened it on her. After making sure Kristina understood the safety rules and promised to listen to everything they said, the three boarded the boat.

"Wow, it's big!" Kristina exclaimed as she looked around.

Sam laughed. "Okay, are you ready for your first boat ride?" she asked her little sister.

Kristina nodded happily.

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Jason breathed in the ocean air. Kristina was sitting on his lap and Jason had his arms wrapped tightly around her as Sam sped over the waves.

Jason's eyes swept over the waves. He took another deep breath – this had been a good idea. The perfect distraction. Out here, he didn't have to think about the business, or Alexis's pleas he stay away from Sam, or even what had happened between Sam and Ric and himself and Liz. Right now, all he wanted to think about was the wind and waves . . . and Sam.

Running into Sam and Kristina on the docks had been fate. Jason had been thinking about Sam a lot. He needed to stop pushing her away – it was killing them both, causing them to act out with other people. Sure, it was hard to swallow that Sam slept with Ric, and that it had been consensual, but on the flip side, Jason had slept with Liz. Okay, so Liz wasn't psychotic like Ric, but Jason had used her to forget his pain and what he had seen at the Lake House – the tequila hadn't been working.

Jason had hurt Sam by telling her he couldn't love her anymore, and then she hurt herself further by sleeping with Ric. This had to stop. Jason was tired of keeping Sam at arms length. He needed to stop letting his fear of losing her to his way of life dictate their lives together.

Being out on the boat, out on the waves, was helping to clear his head. And what he wanted was Sam back in his life.

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Sam breathed in the fresh ocean air as she steered the boat through the waves. It was so relaxing and calm to be out on the water again. She felt so light – so free . . . like nothing could touch her. So much had happened in the last few months – too much in fact. But out here – it all melted away in the sunshine and waves.

Sam knew her life had never been perfect – it was always one thing after another – conning to get the Dead Man's Hand from Jax, being taken hostage by Sonny, becoming Sonny's mistress, carrying Sonny's child – but with Jason, Sam had finally felt like she found a purpose to be. Jason loved her for who she was and never expected her to change for him.

Jason believed in her. He believed that she would be a good mother – when she had no clue what she was doing, he believed she would survive losing her daughter – when she felt like her heart had been ripped out and stomped on, he believed she was worth loving – when she felt otherwise.

And he did love her. And she loved him. He may have said he couldn't love her anymore, but that didn't mean that he didn't. Sam hated what she did with Ric – it made her sick to her stomach to even think about it – but all she wanted was to have Jason back in her life. It was the only way to really feel whole again.

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Jason carried a sleeping Kristina as he and Sam walked past Kelly's and toward the park where Sam had left her car. After the ride, Jason had taken Sam and Kristina for ice cream, and poor Kristina, tired from an eventful day, had fallen asleep on Jason's lap

Sam glanced over at Jason as they walked. He had been so great with Kristina – on the boat, getting ice cream, and now carrying her while she slept. No matter what happened between them, Jason was a good man and Sam would always remember this day.

"Jason, thank you for doing this today," Sam said as they neared the car. "You really didn't have to."

Jason looked down at Sam. "I wanted to," he said gently.

Sam smiled. "Kristina had a great time Jason. She really needed the distraction."

Jason nodded as he carefully shifted Kristina in his arms. "So did you," he said.

Sam nodded and sighed. "With Alexis being sick, and Kristina doesn't really understand . . . it was nice to just let go – feel free."

Finally reaching the car, Sam opened the door and Jason set Kristina inside and buckled her in. Sam closed the door gently and turned to face Jason. It was a warm night, but there was a breeze that stirred the curls around Sam's face. Jason's fingers itched to tuck the strands of hair behind her ear. But he slid his hands into his pockets instead, unsure of how Sam would respond.

It had been a long time since they had felt this awkward and uncomfortable around each other. Jason knew that so much had changed between them, but deep down, he knew he still loved Sam and he wanted nothing more than to have her back in his life – to try to rebuild a life together.

Sam bit her lip and fidgeted slightly. Today had been so wonderful that she had momentarily forgotten how screwed up her life currently was – and it was because of Jason.

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Jason took a breath and let it out. If he didn't do this now, he wasn't sure when he would be able to again. Sam was the only woman in his life that fully accepted him for whom and what he was. She trusted him. She wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. She wanted to have a family with him. Jason knew – from the beginning – that he was making a huge mistake by pushing Sam away for her safety. He made the mistake of thinking he had the right to tell Sam how to live her life and who to love. He learned his lesson – the hard way.

So, he decided to just open up and tell Sam how deeply sorry he was for the pain he put her through.

"Sam . . . " Jason stopped and swallowed. Talking about his feelings was never easy – but Jason knew he had to do this – and not just for Sam, but for himself as well.

Sam waited expectantly. She could see in Jason's eyes that he needed to say whatever was on his mind. It was a rare occurrence and Sam was not going to push him.

Seeing the anticipation in Sam's eyes, Jason knew how important this was for the both of them. He watched as she smiled gently to let him know it was okay – to take his time.

Jason gently took Sam's hands in his. Touching her seemed to focus and calm him. "Sam . . . I know that what I did hurt you. I never intended for that to happen. I only wanted to protect you from who I was. Sam . . . when you were shot in my arms, this deep, paralyzing fear took over. You had been shot because of me. And all I cold see was your blood on my hands and the feel of you going limp in my arms. And as I sat at your bedside, I just kept seeing it over and over again." Jason stopped a moment, reigning in his thoughts as his emotions rose. He then started again. "You almost died because of me Sam . . . but what scared me even more was thinking that I would never have you in my life again. I thought that in pushing you away, we wouldn't be together, but you would at least be alive. I was wrong. We're both miserable Sam and it led us to do things we both regret – to act out in ways that hurt not just each other but ourselves. I love you Sam. More than I have ever thought I could love another person. You have brought light into my life. You made that penthouse a home. And most of all, you trust me to keep you safe when I didn't trust myself."

Sam tried to blink back her tears, but they spilled over when Jason's own tears started to slide down his cheeks. Neither moved. "I love you too Jason – I never stopped. And what happened with Ric . . . " But she stopped when Jason shook his head.

"What happened with Ric was more my fault – and his – than yours Sam. I hurt you deeply when I said I couldn't love you anymore . . . I saw that in your eyes. Carly warned me that you would do something to hurt yourself more. And she was right. I drove you to that night Sam. And Ric took advantage of that. You don't need my forgiveness Sam . . . it's the other way around. I am the one that needs yours. And I will understand if you do not want to give it."

There it was – he put the decision . . . his heart – into her hands. It was one of the hardest things Jason had ever done in his life. He just gave the woman he loved with every fiber of his being the power to completely destroy him. To rip his heart out of his chest and tear it to shreds. At this moment, Jason was left completely and utterly vulnerable.

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Sam stared up at Jason, recognizing the huge sacrifice he was making. If Sam was a cruel, vicious, unfeeling person, she might have been able to use this moment to hurt Jason as horribly as he had hurt her. But Sam wasn't that person – and she never wanted to be. The pain and heartache of the last couple of months could never erase what they had shared over the last two years. The love, the trust, and the memories they created together. The way Jason supported her in her darkest hour, the way he was at her side when no one else was, the way she fought for his life when he was ready to give up. All of that flashed through her mind as she kept her eyes on his.

"No forgiveness is needed from either of us Jason," Sam began, smiling through her tears. "I understand why you did what you did. And we both made choices that hurt us. But I am not going to let that ruin what we had . . . what we still have. I love you Jason and I know you love me – and that is stronger than any hurt feelings or misunderstandings or even what we did to hurt ourselves further. I know things between us are different now Jason, and who knows, maybe it's for the better, because it has allowed us to grow as people and survive as a couple. I want you in my life Jason – forever. So I say, no looking back on the pain we caused each other. No letting someone tell us that we can't be together. We move forward. We take what has happened, learn from it, and move on."

Jason nodded. It was exactly what he wanted to do. Leaning in, Jason – with Sam's hands still in his – kissed her gently.

The End.


End file.
